I'm a stranger to the whole social-people-relation thing. Really. After more than ten years of struggling through living & its stupid ughs, I still have no idea how this game is played.
That kinda explains why I'm currently at home, in front of my laptop typing yet another fuck-this-life-sucks entry, instead of excitedly picking a dress and getting my makeup done. Firstly, I'm already not one who likes to socialize very much. Point established since eons ago; LD, 3/4L, S18, WD, Rhythm, just to list the least.
I don't turn up for events or outings because I don't really feel like it and even if I was okay I don't mind goinganything that's pass 12am will have to go through THE JURY which in some cases (like tonight) I'm not so keen enough to wanna fight my case with very much vigour. How? If don't go then will lose out in many things;- the fun, the company, the pictures, the :Dlurb with people. But if go, have to;- find transport, spend money, go through that shit with D&M, less sleep.
Aha, quite dulan right. And I figured that things aren't even that simple. Say you don't go for stuff (God I can't even recall when was the last friggin time I went for a CLASS OUTING O.O), obviously you'll start drifting, and the more you drift the less you feel compelled to go. Ultimately all's gone & you're stamped with anti-social.
Everytime I'd find an excuse for the way things turn out, everytime I'll tell myself the next try it'll be better. After years & a trillion attempts, I'm still failing.
What's worse is that it's not like you don't like to hang out, it matters more of who it is you're hanging out with. There are people who you'll cancel your week's schedule to fit, and some who you'll fake a whole week's schedule to avoid. I think it rocks to be my boyfriend because I honestly don't really want anyone else but you. Haha, how ridiculous huh. I don't understand myself. I've never met another person who's found socializing such a fucken hysterical chore.
And so when your free days become more frequent, your time more worthless. So what if I have a string of days at your disposal? It wouldn't mean shit cos you're the hotstuff, & I'm just nothing.
Food for thought: If you're a girl who can't turn heads, would your boyfriend still love you?
It's -.- to think women stay forever young and pretty like you first met them, because they don't. & when you've sucked enough of their youth & beauty and realized that the chick around the block's hotter than your girl,
